Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Fading Formality of the Thank-You Note

Thank you   
Merci, Grazie, Gracias, Arigato, Mahalo, Thank You -

Such a simple statement and so many ways to say it, yet often times we fail to express it when someone has done a nice favor for us.
This day and age with the busy, Go-Go-Go  & get-things-done lifestyle combined with technological advancements such as email and text messaging, the formality of a practice, such as sending a thank-you note, has begun to fade.  Gone are the days when we'd take the time to jot down a quick thank-you for the aunt who mailed us a birthday gift or for the friend who played hostess to us over the three-day weekend.  The thank-you note has become more of a wedding/shower follow-up only and nothing more, if even that.  Seen by many as an old-fashioned practice that is out-dated or too much effort.  But is it really?  And what is the difference between a thank-you email and sending a thank-you note or card?

Well, for starters it is much more personal.  It shows the recipient that you really appreciate what they did for you.  So much so that you were willing to take the time out of your busy schedule to write them a note, expressing your gratitude.  And secondly, many people won't admit it, but actually expect a thank-you note, especially those from the older generation; a time before email, when thank-you notes were not just a nice thought, but proper social protocol. 

Besides, it really doesn't have to take much time at all.   Less than one minute is all you need to write a quick thank you.  Start by saying how appreciative you are and that it was so thoughtful of them to do______ (fill in the blank) or give you_______.  Then, simply end the note saying something personal, like they're such a good friend or that you had a wonderful time during your stay with them. Then sign off and drop it in the mail.  Takes mere seconds, but it is so much more personal and heartfelt for someone to receive a handwritten note. 

Emily Post suggest that thank-you's should generally be sent within one week of the event or gifting.  However, you don't need to feel that you have to send everyone a thank-you for every little thing.  Could you imagine the writer's cramp we'd all have!   

Most etiquette gurus agree, as a general rule of thumb, if you go to someone's home for a party, you do not need to send them a thank-you.  Expressing your enjoyment upon leaving the party is sufficient in this instance.  On the other hand, if you stay as a guest at a friend's house for one night or longer, you should definitely follow up your visit with a thank-you note. 

Another topic associated with thank-you's is gift giving.  If someone gives you a gift in person and you open it in front of them and say thank-you, then you do not need to follow up with a note.   However, it is usually a good idea  if someone mails you a special gift and, it is downright expected  for wedding or shower gifts. 
Since we all know how it feels to receive a special thank-you note/card from an appreciative recipient, don't you think that it is safe to assume that most people like to receive a thank-you note for a noteworthy deed?  Let's revive this thoughtful custom and take action. 

THIS WEEK'S THOUGHTFUL MISSION:
If someone has done something nice for you recently send them a thank-you note this week.  Even if it was over a month ago (a little late by Emily Post's standards, but we'll let it slide).  In my book, it  is never too late to express your gratitude.  So grab that paper and pen and send someone a thank-you today. 
You'll be a better person for it!

And remember, saying  thank-you is something that never goes out of style!
stylish thank you

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