A Season of Change: Part I

Well, it's official!  Fall is in full swing.  This past weekend, my sweetie and I kicked off the season by exploring a corn maze and picking out some pumpkins for the front porch.  Looking back, it’s good we went on Saturday because on Sunday a storm moved in providing us with the first heavy rainfall of the season. 

I love fall.  It's hands-down my favorite time of year.  I love how the weather suddenly cools off and the leaves begin to change from green to brilliant shades of orange, yellow and red. The drastic weather and visual changes that come with the season mirror life in many ways. 

As I look down at my belly, I reflect on how much its shape and size has changed over the past 6 months.  It makes me realize how much my life is about to change now that I am beginning this next chapter in my life.  While expecting my first child brings feelings of joy and excitement, it also makes me feel somewhat anxious at times because, well, it’s a big change!  Over the past few years, my life has endured many changes.  Some of these were of my own volition and others were things that I had no control over. 

In the past couple of years, my life has gone through many ups and downs to say the least.  In 2008, my husband, for various reasons, decided that he no longer wanted to be married and that he was better suited for the bachelor lifestyle.  While this came as a shock to me, our friends and family, and left me feeling betrayed and devastated, I had no choice but to accept his decision because I had absolutely no control over the way he felt.  My world as I knew it was completely shattered.  I remember feeling terrified and thinking, “I don’t believe in divorce, how could this be happening to me?”  After all, I felt I had done everything I could to have a good marriage and to avoid divorce at all costs.  No one in my family had ever been divorced and for me, I never viewed it as an option.  Not only had I been married to this person for almost 5 years, but we had been together for a total of 9 years (almost a decade) when he informed me that he wanted out.  Within two weeks, I had to separate accounts and finances, find a new apartment and purchase a vehicle.  I can honestly say, if it wasn’t for the support of my family, friends and spiritual advisers, I’m not sure that I would have pulled through as quickly as I did.  Fortunately, with time, not only did I pull through, but I actually began to thrive! 

This unpleasant scenario forced me to look at my life in a different way.  For the first time, I was on my own and had to write the next chapter of my life without the help of a husband, boyfriend or anyone for that matter.  After a bout of sadness and self-pity, I finally awoke and decided to move forward since that was the only direction I could go.  For the first time in my life, I actually began to enjoy being on my own.  I had total creative control over the way this chapter of my life was going to be executed and it was time to start writing!  I enrolled in fun classes, created a blog/website, reunited with old friends, made new friends, clung to my faith like never before (and later explored other church groups outside of my own), volunteered and became involved in social groups.  For the first time, I became my own woman and the author of my new life.    

About a year after divorcing, I began to think about the “dreaded” dating scene.  I say dreaded because I had never really dated before and didn’t know how to go about it.  Since high school, I had always had a boyfriend, but things were different now and if I ever planned on meeting someone, I had to take matters into my own hands.  So, I did the unthinkable.  At the suggestion of my sister and a girlfriend, I signed up with a dating website.  Gasp!  I was hesitant, to say the least, since I had never really dated just to date before, and since none of my friends or family members had ever done the online dating thing.  I remember thinking, “What if I end up with some psycho stalker after me?”  But after I got through the holidays, I had some more time to consider what it was I wanted out of life.  I realized that the whole stalker thing was an unlikely scenario and I was not going to let the fear of the unknown control my life any longer.  I was moving forward and jumping into the dating scene became my New Year’s resolution.  So in January, I joined E-Harmony and never looked back.  And so, the dating game began & what an adventure it was! 

At the time, I had no idea that with a click of the computer mouse, my life would be forever changed.  Much to my surprise, I soon found myself swept off my feet by a great guy.  Not to sound cheesy like the commercials, but I found someone who I connected with; someone who I could have fun with and more importantly, someone I loved and who loved me unconditionally. 

But, of course this is not where my story ends.  On the contrary, I'm just beginning the next chapter. You see, life is full of surprises and since meeting my guy, I’m realizing that change is constant and one of the only guarantees in life.  As humans, we never truly stop having to adapt to change and I find myself constantly learning new ways of dealing with these changes. 

Please check back next week.  I will continue with my story and how I’ve continued to embrace change since embarking on this new chapter of life.  More importantly, I will share with you the valuable tools I use on a daily basis to cope with life’s inevitable changes.  It is my hope that through sharing what I have learned, it will help others embrace change and let go of the fears that hold them back.